To Keep or Not to Keep, Your Dance Partner That Is
To Split or Not to Split
Most dancers will face this question at least once in their dancing careers, and yet most will not have a substantial explanation of "Why?" when a decision is made. Other times dancers will not have any clarification as of how the ends justify the means in the separation of a partnership.
A good portion of the time, dancing couples split due to differences in personality. Other times, it is because some dancers are looking for "superstars" to dance with, and forget that a partnership is a journey in which both halves support one another to succes. And yet even sometimes, we see better fish in the sea that promise "sure" success. Are these excuses truly those that cannot be overcome in salvaging a partnership? Let us take a look at the following questions that may help you better understand where you and your dance partner stand.
1. First, you must know what you want. Ask yourself what your goals are. Is your partner not capable, physically, mentally, emotionally, or socially, of helping you, as your other half, to achieve those goals? Does your partner see the same goals in his or her view? If these views differ, then you must communicate that to each other and see in which directions your roads lead. However, you must always remember to respect one another's position and take on the situation.
If you are getting more serious in terms of your advancement and your partner would rather dance as a hobby or vice versa, then it is time to look at what you want to achieve in the future. Acknowledge if this partner will help you to do so. Also, ask yourself if you are able to keep on growing personally in your goals, or if your partner is getting in the way of that?
2. Does your partner exude good partner traits? Is he or she caring? Does he or she listen and try things that you suggest or is he or she commanding, demanding, and shuts you down in communication? If a partner does not hear your thoughts or makes you feel low about yourself, it is essential to communicate this. If you do not let him or her hear you, or if they do not want to listen, the partnership will never be successful.
3. Skills. Take a true look at the skill levels of both you and your partner. Is your partner hard working? Are you hard working? Compare the growth that has occured from the beginning of your partnership. If you have just begun dancing together, take a look at potential. A true partner will want to help the other succeed and grow. If you know that you are stronger than your other half, technically, physically, performance-wise or otherwise, it is your responsibility to decide whether or not you want to help your partner grow and "catch-up" in a way to a higher level in which you can then excel together. Many couples split because one partner is weaker than the other, but it is very rare that these couples stay together when one helps the other to grow and excel. This is exactly the strength that occurs in a true team. It is also known as development.
All of the points above have one major point in common - they all revolve around communication. No partnership will succeed without it. You must learn to tell your side and listen in return, your wants and goals. You need to share your viewpoints and listen to the viewpoints of your partner. This will build trust and respect inbetween you.
You must also compromise. It cannot always be your way or the highway. Yet, you must stand your ground in certain sitations as well. Partnerships are balancing acts - two-way streets.
Ultimately, the most important way of determining for yourself whether or not you should keep or split with your dance partner must focus on your personal goals and views. If you and your partner split in aspects of goals and views, you will never aim for the same target. You need to find someone that will help you in reaching that target instead of pulling you in a different direction. But if that partner sees the same goal, you must now communicate with each other of how both of you as a team, as a dancing couple, will get there. And as fast as possible for that matter before others beat you to it.